Addict

I know I have an addictive personality. I am addicted to food, I am addicted to buying books, I am addicted to games, etc. I don't have classic addiction, because I can overcome the feelings. For instance, I've been to Barnes and Noble's twice recently and haven't bought a book. I tend to get compulsive for a while and then move on to something else, so my addictions are always changing, but it doesn't change the fact that I am addicted to something.

I am hoping, however, that with this life change, and weight loss, and Paul McKenna's program, I can at least break the cycle of food addiction. I eat to comfort myself, I eat to keep myself occupied. I know this. The tapping is helping, the positive reinforcement is helping. I've had some "too full" feelings this week, and I don't like the feeling. It's good to know that. Before I'd never have noticed until I was so stuffed I'd be up half the night because of the bloating and pain.

Right now, I'm addicted to posting things on the Internet, so I'm going to go eat and then take a walk, but hey.... at least I'm not eating until I'm hungry. It'll take time, I know, but I do feel better already and I hope I just keep feeling better day by day.

It took me 10 years to put on this 77 lbs. It might have only taken a few months to pack on the last 27, but It's not all going to fall off in a matter of days - hell, if it did, I need plastic surgery because I'd have tons of saggy skin. Also, it took me 5 years to put on the weight from normal to over 200lbs. I didn't wake up one morning and gained 50lbs overnight. If it takes a few months to break the cycle, it takes a few months, or years. It doesn't matter. Small success matters, and I'm having those every day. I'll get there. Time is not the enemy any longer.